Contents of Post
It’s unusual for us to do a full review of a singular restaurant. That is unless that place is either incredibly exceptional or absolutely horrendous. Initially, I wasn’t even going to use our rating system. Yet these full reviews are either a must try or a must avoid. Trattoria Tinel is a must avoid. To a point where I would say McDonald’s is better and I hate Micky D’s. I couldn’t believe that someone recommended this place to us!
Variety of Food Selection
Honestly, the variety wasn’t bad. There were two separate sections. One for seafood and another for meat and pasta dishes. There was also a very large wine selection, but the number of wines you could buy a glass for instead of a whole bottle was limited. That being said the wine was pretty strong, leaving Lisa tipsy after one glass.
Taste of Food and Drink
The fish carpaccio was partly frozen, the octopus salad was the fishiest I have ever experienced octopus, and the fish platter for two was an experience. It was clear that the fish was cooked on the same grill as the red meat, probably at the same time, which the waitress confirmed. The muscles were essentially made of rubber, the tuna steak tasted closer to steak than anything seafood.
Everything else was either bland or burnt. Even after I drowned it in freshly squeezed lemon juice. The calamari was burnt beyond edibility despite looking good. The fish fillet and full fish had no taste. A shame seeing as the food is one of the best reasons to visit Croatia.
Out of curiosity, I asked the table next to us how their food was. There was a brief but noticeable look of the girl’s soul dying before she composed herself. Her reply came as an almost Mutter of, “yeah it was good” in the driest voice I’ve ever heard. Trattoria Tinel was not for her.
Professionalism and Friendliness of Staff
The waitress we had saved our experience here. The first waiter we met was an absolute asshole, nearly pushing me out of the way on more than one occasion. Between that, the eyerolling at us, and the fact I’m pretty sure he pawned us off on another server this could have gone a lot worse. Not to mention he refused to answer any of our questions about the menu!
However with all that being said the waitress was amazing. When asked if it was good I asked if she wanted me to be nice or honest. She requested honesty. Therefore I told her what was stated in the taste section. She offered a free dessert or wine which we politely declined. After a short time, she ended up bringing us some flan and two dessert wines. She tried so very hard which we appreciated.
Yet when we took our first bite of the flan we looked at each other and started laughing. It tasted mass-produced and lifeless. The dessert wine I enjoyed, but Lisa’s face looked as if she just drank curdled milk as she tried to give a thumbs up to be nice.
Atmosphere
Now this one was tricky. At first, when Lisa and I were led into the little courtyard it looked cute. If you maintained distraction and didn’t pay a lot of attention it would probably stay that way. However, I do pay attention. I do it so that you don’t have to.
The more I paid attention the kitschier and cringier things appeared. The courtyard appeared to be a really bad attempt at posturing as a fancier version of itself or a Croatian version of an Italian restaurant. Everything was just really…. Fake. Down to the fake Italian name, Trattoria Tinel.
Cleanliness
If it wasn’t for Lisa then I would have said this place was clean. Because it was. The place itself was super clean and everything was in great condition. However, Lisa saw something that I did not.
As the two of us were sitting at our table waiting Lisa noticed something in the kitchen. She watched for a while to confirm her suspicion, much to her chagrin. The cooks in the kitchen were openly smoking over the cooking food. Where ash would fall no one can tell, but it is inevitable. To make it worse they weren’t washing their hands. Not only not after smoking, but we didn’t see it once. It caused us to wonder what else goes on in there.
Overall Review
This section is normally called “Overall Rating”, but that didn’t fit with this review. I can’t even give Trattoria Tinel one star it was that bad. I’m honestly shocked that neither of us got food poisoning after eating there. I can’t help, but find myself asking, “Was anything fresh?” Which is shocking and disappointing for a restaurant basically sitting on the Adriatic.
I don’t kid myself. I’m a bigger dude and if I can’t finish a meal I will take it home. Money is money after all. Yet at Trattoria Tinel not only did I not finish the food, but I also refused to take it home. If it weren’t for our amazing waitress like if we had gotten the other guy, the experience would’ve been absolutely miserable.
If you are in Split or Korcula, right on the Adriatic, then there are heaps of amazing seafood restaurants you can try. Avoid Trattoria Tinel like the plague.
