Contents of Post
Don’t worry. There hasn’t been another gunpowder treason and plot. I just thought the title fitting for both the day of publishing. The fifth of November is here already, eh? That means October is finally over and I made it out alive… just barely.
A Hellish October
I’ve had some rough Octobers, but this one has to be the worst. I have some… negative feelings about my birthday on the second. Therefore, September tends to be a bit tumultuous for me. Yet, on the morning of the first I turned to Lisa and said, “Y’know, perhaps this year won’t be so bad. I have plans with people that I’m looking forward to and nothing horrible has happened.”
Lord, I must’ve jinxed it. Half an hour before midnight, I received the news from my Grandmother that my Great Grandfather had passed. It hit me a lot harder than I thought. However, I have been working on writing something to honour that man and, therefore, won’t be touching much on that today.
So, the second started out rough. Then when no one showed up or cancelled last minute the hurt I was feeling was amplified. Unfortunately, I decided to bottle up all those emotions and deal with them in an undebatably unhealthy way.
The Accursed Month Continued
Over the next couple weeks, all the problems arose. I was (and technically still am) dealing with everything from battling the feelings of letting down my grandfather by not going to his father’s funeral, not being able to be there to support them, my own grieving, some unfortunate past issues rearing their ugly heads, familial issues cropping up, and so much more.
I ended up actually ending some relationships with people I cared deeply about. Yet, that’s life. Things end and people part ways. With some, we no longer were able to see eye to eye on things, others distance grew, with others yet mental health took priority, and some were just downright unhealthy relationships that should’ve ended long ago. Sometimes things just need to end.
That doesn’t mean I don’t love those people and don’t carry them with me in my heart. I always will. They were all important people in my life at one point.
Reliving Eight Grade.
Just as things were starting to normalize, I had an accident. When I was in grade 8, I broke my neck playing tag. Yeah, you can reread that. Feel free to laugh as well, I say it that way so people will laugh. The full story is a bit more complex. It ends with a compression fracture on my C7 vertebrae and 6 months wearing a collar.
I know that doesn’t seem overly relevant, but just wait. On the 20th, I “broke my back”. That makes it sound so serious. Perhaps it’s more serious than I am viewing it, but I’m still here and still walking. No surgery is needed either, so it can’t be that bad.
I was biking down to the woodshop to work on my desk. When I got there, I went to swing my leg over the bike to stand on a pedal and coast to a stop. The same way I always got off my bike. Yet, this time it went bad.
Perhaps, the backpack full of a tablet, water bottle, JBL Sound speaker, and 3 monsters cause me to lose my balance. Maybe I got too much momentum when I swung my leg. On the other hand, it could have been the small pebble I hit right before the bike swerved. Probably a combination of all of it.
Anyway, the bike went to the right. The way I shifted made me end up flying backwards in the direction I was headed. I landed directly on my back, that backpack in the small of my back.
I heard the sickening crack and felt the pain. I figured it would subside, but it didn’t. Something felt wrong inside of me. To a point where for the second time in my life I had someone call me an ambulance. Thank God for the people at Handwerkstadt. They helped as much as they could.
When the ambulance got there, I was quickly shuttled off to the hospital. The second time in my life that I can remember being in an ambulance and, as it would turn out, for almost the exact same injury. Hours in the ER and I learnt that I had managed to give myself another compression fracture. This time on the L1.
They kept me in the hospital over the weekend. The nurses ignored when I said I was in pain. To the point of vocally belittling my pain because I was “walking around, up and down” like the doctor told me I needed to do.
Since then, I’ve been in a lot of pain physically, but the time has allowed me to sort through my mental situation and get to a better place.
Now, It’s The Fifth Of November
Why would it matter that it’s the fifth of November? Well, I got through October. It’s over and I can put it behind me. I know that my fracture apparently got worse according to the follow up x-ray. However, that doesn’t matter. I’m just glad to be alive. It had somehow gotten into my head that something would try to kill me by the end of October.
Alas, I am still here. I’m kicking. The pain is manageable enough that the painkillers make it possible to partially get back into my routine.
I’m sorry for my absence. I’m still here and am back to working on things. At least, as much as I can given the pain. Things will get better soon. Not just for me, but for everyone going through a hard time right now.
